Man Goes Blind After Masturbating; And Doesn’t Give a Shit!
(Fake News)
by HumorOnline.com Staff
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This material may not be reproduced in any form.
Robert never thought that stroking his wang was a problem. I mean, he had heard about the potential dangers of playing the pee pipe, like going blind, growing hair on his palms, and going insane, but he didn't think that any of that shit would actually happen to him when he spanked his monkey.
He always thought that if he wanted to doodle his noodle he would be fine.
But one day after slapping his salami, Robert started experiencing some temporary blindness.
It freaked him out a bit, but the blindness only lasted a few seconds. So he didn’t get too worried, and he continued to pound his flounder.
Day after day he continued to tenderize his meat and accept the few seconds of blindness.
Then one day after waxing his weasel, Robert started to grow some hair on his palms. It freaked him out a little, but he just started shaving his palms every morning after he shaved his face.
So he continued with his hand to gland combat.
Then one day when he was buffing his wood he started going crazy.
It was then that he was convinced that the "masturbation myths" he had heard so much about were actually real, and that there were great dangers associated with honing his bone. After all, he was going blind, growing hair on his palms, and going crazy – all because he wanted to butter his own corn.
Shit.
So does Robert care?
Fuck NO!
“Hey, what in the hell is there in this life besides banging women and burping the worm?” laughed Robert. “I’m gonna keep bleeding my weed as long as I live.”
“I mean, I like to play a flute solo, fondle the fig, and drain the vein.”
“Now, leave me the fuck alone so I can get back to whacking my doodle.”
Robert then turned around, walked into a wall, shook sweat from his hairy palms, pleaded insanity, and retuned to his room to grease his bone.
Copyright © HumorOnline.com.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
This material may not be reproduced in any form.
